Swedish Toast

This site is funny if you want to waste time and get annoyed: the impossible quiz
Hint: the square root of onion is shallots

William Hutt died. He was a great actor at Stratford for many years. I had the treat of seeing him in several plays when I used to go there throughout high school. An inspiring artist because he was so good at what he did.

Rome's looking a little boozy:

Dear Hillary
I really want to see you do well and become President and become a force in world politics. This is why you must stop making videos! I know it's a spinoff on the Sopranos finale, but it sucks. No really. I wouldn't vote for most of the people who post crap on Youtube, so it seems unlikely that anyone would vote for you after that nonsense. Bill can't act. No, no Hillary, neither can you.
And you risk alienating all of your Canadian neighbours if you are serious about picking Celine Dion songs for your campaign. Ouch.

Every now and then, out of boredom, I type something strange into google. Today I typed 'things to do' and lo and behold I got this page:
http://www.urban75.org/useless/bored.html

I highly recommend this site if you want to connect yourself with your inner primate without driving a spike into your brain through your ear.

Here's some highlights of the activities suggested:

-Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show (seizure-inducing fun)

-Try to not think about penguins (impossible)

-Hurt yourself (this is a classic Deer Hunter time-waster)

-Pretend to be a car (nothing like a good vroom)

-Make a low buzzing noise (be your favorite appliance!)

-Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent (yes, you too can annoy the shit out of anyone)

-Get yourself as nauseated as possible (probably the cheapest drugs around)

-Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff (feel the imaginary G-force)

and finally:
-Try and sound Welsh (and good luck)

Hey, turns out the Amercian military pondered creating a "gay bomb" to use against its enemies. Here's how it would have worked:

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another." Sounds like Bertolucci should make a movie adaptation.

Once again the proudly macho American empire has shown that they are true leaders, worthy of ruling the world, and have nothing in common with facists. Stay tuned for their next clever ideas, including a new weapon that will make the enemy more interested in doing ballet instead of fighting, and military offensives that are styled on the movie Porky's.

I came across this guy's reviews of movies on Amazon. His moniker is 'Bob "TV Show Lover"'. Weird, kind of self-involved reviews. Judging by certain things he says, he is 17 years old. The reviews are kind of funny, off-topic and most often pointless. Here are some highlights:

BAREFOOT IN THE PARK
I always wanted to walk barefoot in the park! , May 30 2007
I always wanted to walk barefoot in the bark but was afraid of stepping on broken pieces of glass.

IT HAPPENED AT THE WORLD'S FAIR
I've been to Seattle and in the space needle! , Jun 8 2007
I must say this is a dumb movie (but you just have to love it for the on location shots) I unfortunately couldn't ride the sky train because it was broken-down at the time I was in Seattle.

LEMMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
My dad slept through it , May 30 2007
I didn't like it half as much as the books. I went and saw it in theatres and my dad slept through it. I had to keep waking him up when the good parts came.

GREASE
One of my favorite movies!!, May 30 2007
I love this movie. I have since I was a kid. I own the DVD and soundtrack. I can't get enough of Grease. I love where Frenchy's hair turns pink. Its cute but kind of makes you feel sorry that Frenchy flunked beauty school.

GHOSTBUSTERS 2
One of the worst movies...period! , May 27 2007
I used to watch this as a kid and each time the movie would leave me with a sick unsatisfied feeling.

DOWN WITH LOVE
Down with love? more like Down With Fudge! , Mar 4 2007
This movie is dumb! She eats chocolate to substitute sex. The whole idea is crazy!

So apparently this is the cover of a 1974 movie called: "Tie jin gang da po zi yang guan" directed by Feng Huang.
Stemming from my pride in pretending to understand most of the Cantonese language, here are my guesses at the title's translation:

-Plaid Kung Fu
-Ari's Twister Party
-Revenge of The Pants (sequel to The Crotch and The Crooked)

This gets confusing, but it's interesting. It takes you on a tour from the world's largest island and lake all the way to the world's largest island in a lake on an island in a lake on an island.

This is funny, the byline for an article in the New York Times:
U.S. WARNS IRAQ THAT PROGRESS IS NEEDED SOON
A top U.S. commander told Iraq’s premier to make political progress by next month to counter the growing tide of opposition to the war in Congress.

In other words: sure, we may have invaded your country and totally screwed it up, but would you please have a little decency and put it back together, say, by next month? Our cheese is melting over here.

U.S. Admiral William Fallon had these fine words to say:
“You have the power.”
“You should take the initiative.”
“Is it reasonable to expect it to be completed in July?”

Oh I get it: Dork.

According to Amazon.ca, these are the albums that dad would want for father's day. I have no idea how they go from Warren Zevon to John Denver. We should all feel terrible if there is any truth to this. (aside from the Zeppelin, everyone needs a little Zeppelin)

this is really funny, especially the last line: http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Atlantic/070531/t053102A.html

What would they expect to gain from seeing the deer again? To get its side of the story?